Admittedly for people in sales and customer service, the Christmas rush can be pretty frightening. While the mood might be festive, a lot of us – especially in retail positions – go home at the end of the day feeling as though we have spent it being trampled by Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. The truth of the matter is that it is highly unlikely we will get a chance to breathe before the 5th January 2015. So, why not just accept this fact, and make snowmen while the snow falls?!

Playing it right with customer service and saturating customers with Christmas Spirit, means we get to benefit form a generous seasonal opportunity. We are not always handed opportunities like this on a plate – this is silver platter time. Small and thoughtful acts of kindness often create a lasting impression, which means we might be remembered a little better, long after the world returns to normality. It does not matter what product you sell, or what service you offer, a lasting impression counts.

Christmas is a time of giving, not receiving. As cliché as this sounds, there are few people who do not believe this to be true. So, making a lasting impression can be as simple as giving something away. It has long been good marketing practice to give something small away to existing clients to celebrate Christmas. While these give-aways might have the effect of appeasing an existing customer, it does not really help to bring new customers into the fold. Every business needs new customers to grow and survive.

Trivial gifts are fun to receive at this frivolous time of year – even a Christmas candy cane or chocolate stuck to a hand-made card will do the job. Basically what you are doing is taking the time, and spending a little, to say thank you to a customer who has taken the time to consider, and spend their money on your products. If these small gifts must be branded then so be it, but the more personally useful it is, the better your businesses products will be remembers. It is not much use giving a box of branded golf tees to a person who only plays tennis. Also remember that branded goods offer a conspicuous advertisement opportunity, so, the point is they need to be something of use.

Personalised Christmas cards are so easy to make and have made these days. Anyone heard of “Microsoft Publisher”? If you haven’t, go take a look if you have MS software on your laptop. Cards do not have to be personalised, and can be given away when each sale is made, but make the card such that the customer doesn’t just throw it away. Like we mentioned earlier, glue a chocolate or little glass Christmas-tree decoration inside, or on the cover! When an envelope feels slightly fatter than it should, it is not likely to be immediately thrown away.

There are many small things that can be done in customer service departments to celebrate the silly season, and make customers feel special. These include but are not limited to – free gift wrapping, limited time promotional discounts or activities, daily deals, voucher codes, and especially not forcing customers to listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks, Christmas carolling their little lungs out ad-infinitum. The point at the end of the day, is to show excellent customer service, which is liberally saturated in cosy Christmas spirit.

Begin this creative process by imagining the 5 most influential people in your life. Consider these people as your own personal Board of Directors. What would each of these people say about you? It is okay if you don’t know them personally. For example, if Bono is on your list, then what U2 song do you most relate to? Once you have this information gathered. Look for recurring themes, and your Anthem will rise up just like a Phoenix in the desert.

Leave it behind

You’ve got to leave it behind

All that you fashion, all that you make
All that you build, all that you break
All that you measure, all that you feel
All this you can leave behind

All that you reason, all that you care
(It’s only time and I’ll never fill up all my mind)
All that you sense, all that you scheme
All you dress up, and all that you see
All you create, all that you wreck
All that you hate

Walk on

– Excerpt from “Walk On” as performed by U2.

If this was your song, can you identify what your Anthem would be?

We live in a distracted, busy world. And people need shortcuts. Once you find your Anthem, it will make it easy for people to recognize and reward you for who you already are. Find your perfect words to describe what makes you different and extraordinary. When you find these words — when you live them — you’ll feel energized and focused and in the flow.

Many people get to the end of their lives and wish they had done certain things or lived their lives a particular way. However it is possible to take control of your future and live life in a way which will create good memories. Here are five ways to start building a future without regrets:

1. Take action
   Do not put things off till tomorrow. If you want to have a life you can look back on and be proud of then start living it today. Once you start achieving your goals and living life the way you want to the positive effects from that will create a cycle of virtue that permeates every element of your life.
2. What are your real priorities?
   Imagine you are looking back on your life and think about which elements you will be proud of and which parts you will wish you had spent less time and energy on. Not everyone wants to be a company CEO or Nobel Prize winner. Most people say they would simply like to have spent more time with their loved ones. So change the way you organize your life to ensure you spend your time on what is really important to you.
3. Live in the here and now
   Try not to live in the past or get too caught up in ideas of what the future may hold. By engaging with what is around you, in the moment and identifying real opportunities you can prevent getting caught in a cycle of wishful living, where you are waiting for the “perfect” scenario.
4. Get some help and help other people
   One of the most difficult things to do is ask for help when you need some, but most of us rely on people around us to support us with what we do. If you find your friends, colleagues or family are not providing the support you need, or you just need a bit more specialist advice, then find a professional who can help. Life coaches, therapists and professional role models are there to guide you forward and it is not a sign of weakness to enlist their help. Conversely helping other people is one of the best ways to improve your outlook, give you some perspective and bring positive outcomes into your life. Look for opportunities to volunteer, help out a neighbor or work with a charity and you may discover a range of new skills and opportunities you had no idea existed!
5. Enjoy yourself
   By looking for ways to have fun and be positive about whatever you are doing you may find you need make very few changes to your life but can still begin living the life you want, today. A change of perspective can sometimes help identify where the fun and enjoyment can be found in your life. By doing something life-affirming and making a contribution to society it is often possible to see the positive things you bring to others and discover pleasure from the simple things in life.

Minimize drama

Most people have a friend, colleague or family member who creates a lot of drama – someone who likes to make a big fuss, grab attention and turn every small bump in the road into a major hurdle that requires large numbers of people to become involved. It can be fun to have people in our lives that bring color and excitement, but it is important not to get sucked into the noise and activity they create unless you can add something positive to the situation. Keeping a calm head, recognizing a level of noise which is unnecessary relative to the size of the problem and being able to suggest a way forward to diffuse potential drama will all help prevent the situation escalating. If you can not bring any of those benefits to the issue then step back and let someone else who can help bring things under control.

Challenge negativity

There is nothing that will sap your energy faster than negativity from those around you. A little challenge or stress can spur you on, but constantly being told you can not do something or that the obstacles are too great will drag down even the most enthusiastic and focused of people. If you encounter negativity along the way to reaching your goals then listen carefully to what is being said. If the person is flagging a genuine problem then thank them for their interest and discuss how you may be able to overcome the issue. If it is negativity with no good basis then challenge it and ask them to look at the situation from a different, more positive perspective. By sharing a more optimistic or constructive view of the task it may be possible to influence and change negative attitudes; however, if negativity remains it is sometimes best to suggest the person is no longer part of the journey.

Hold on to your motivation

Whatever motivated you to start on the road in the first place may hold the key to maintaining energy levels along the way. When things are difficult or you feel you are losing focus, try to remember what motivated you in the first place and how you imagined achieving your goal would feel. Once you have regained some perspective, and reminded yourself of the potential benefits from what you have set out to achieve, it may be possible to rekindle the enthusiasm with which you began. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a break, get some rest and come back with a renewed sense of purpose and a different perspective. It may be necessary to change the route or method, but by keeping the goal in sight you can hold on to your motivation along the journey.

Being Positive

Some people seem to have a permanently positive outlook, no fears or anxieties and unlimited energy to pursue their dreams. The good news is that there is no secret to having such a positive outlook and no matter how confident someone is, everyone experiences set backs or days when they doubt themselves. The difference with positive people is that they can pick themselves back up, take a deep breath and have another go at achieving their dreams, spurred on by the knowledge that they are taking responsibility for their life and making good things happen for themselves. This is the key to a more positive attitude and a happier life, accepting that if you can change your life, then you will. People who take control of their life and make positive decisions have already empowered themselves to achieve their goals. Once that step has been taken it is possible to shed the self-limiting behaviors which prevent people from achieving their dreams.

Start now

To start a more positive approach to life it is important not to put things off which can be tackled today. The first of which is to change any negative perceptions you have about your life and abilities. Stop listening to negative voices and turn around self-doubt by thinking positively about yourself. If you find that hard, then ask the positive people around you, who love you and want to help you, how they see you. They will be able to give you a range of reasons and personal characteristics which make you a great person. Take their views and the evidence they give you and add to it from your own experiences. Find examples of times when you have done something well or been praised for something. Let this provide the basis for a new perception of yourself. Armed with this new view of yourself, which is based on fact and positive feedback, keep anxieties at bay and remind yourself of your worth in times of doubt.

Try something new

Once you have started to change your image of yourself it is time to challenge yourself to grow and learn. Take on a new activity which will push your limits. Think about long term life goals and set yourself off on a path to achieving them. Trust and listen to your instincts, they will often set you on the right road and help to make good decisions about how to pursue personal fulfillment and happiness. If you encounter set backs or negative experiences along the way then learn to let go of the embarrassment or self doubt which may accompany such problems. To help this process and prevent you from getting too caught up on a particular vision of your perfect life or outcome it can help to get some perspective. Volunteer with a charity or help out people you know who are having a difficult time. By giving something back to your community you will feel good about yourself and it can help you become more grateful and appreciate the benefits in your life.

People sometimes ask me: “What is the one thing I can do to make myself happier?” That’s a hard question to answer because happiness usually doesn’t come from just one aspect of our lives. However, if we want to be happier then one of the best ways to do that is through self-improvement.

When something undermines our happiness or when we tend to dwell on negative thoughts too much or when we just find ourselves surrounded by negative people, we need to make a change. Now self-improvement can come in many forms. For some, it means becoming more active, eating healthier, or giving up smoking. For others, it could be going back to school, taking up a new hobby, or getting involved with a cause or a charity. Self-improvement can include a wide variety of activities: the common factor is that they somehow make you a better person.

The Feelings Will Guide You There

The important thing is not what the self-improvement you choose involves but the feelings it gives you. Ideally, your self-improvement will introduce you to more positive people, will help you find personal accomplishment, and will give you a reason to think mor positively about the world around you. It can also combat that feeling of stagnation so many of us run into when we feel like our relationships and careers have reached a plateau. We get into a rut: we get up, we go to work, we talk to the same friends, we go to bed, we start the same routine the next morning. By changing up that routine and by doing something that makes you feel good about you, you climb out of that rut and start climbing back towards happiness.

Sometimes self-improvement activities open up new doors for us, too. A colleague of mine secured her job (which she loves) after she met her supervisor at a photography class. The supervisor thought she was intelligent, well-organized, and extremely creative so she offered her a job. We can never predict what new opportunities might be waiting for us if we decide to make a change and break away from the status quo.

While the status quo can be comfortable because there aren’t any surprises waiting around the corner for us, it also doesn’t provide much enjoyment. Once you get stuck in that rut, you end up finding things you used to love boring. You take for granted everything that should be making your life happy and sometimes begin seeing those things as obstacles to your own happiness.

Avoid Getting Stuck in a Destructive Rut

By engaging in some type of self-improvement, you avoid getting stuck in that destructive rut.

That’s really one of the biggest secrets to obtaining happiness: never becoming complacent. We tend to take for granted those things that used to make us happy after we’ve had them for awhile. By shaking things up every now and then, we can be reminded to appreciate those things while also finding new ways to build our happiness.

In another article, I talked about the importance of eliminating negative people from your life. Well, it is equally important that you eliminate the negative thoughts from your mind because those negative thoughts will undermine your happiness at every turn.

Recently, I overheard a conversation between a mother and her adult daughter. The daughter was talking about a recent job interview she’d had, and I was struck by her attitude. She told her mother, “It doesn’t even matter if I get the job or not. I’m just really proud of how well I did in the interview.” To me, that’s the epitome of a positive attitude. She could very easily have thought/said: “I thought I did well in the interview but they will probably hire someone else because I don’t have much experience.” Instead, she focuses on what was positive about the experience, and this makes her happy.

The same idea can be seen throughout our daily lives over and over again. If we dwell on the negative, it negatively affects our mood. You simply can’t be happy if you focus so intently on the bad aspects of life, on your own personal failures, or on what you don’t have in your life.

Here’s another conversation example I overheard. The man was in his early thirties and had apparently gotten divorced recently. From his posture, expression, and voice it was clear he was unhappy about the end of his marriage. His friend was trying to point out the positive aspects of the divorce: he had gone back to school to pursue a career dream, he had more time to spend with his friends and family, he was able to enjoy his hobbies again, etc. However, the divorced man simply replied, “Yeah, but I don’t have my wife.”

Obviously it is hard to be happy when a relationship fails but dwelling on the negatives only prolongs the sadness and grief. Taking a more positive attitude and looking at the good aspects of even the worst situation can help you recover more quickly and move on with your life and regain your happiness.

Negative thinking drains you of happiness. It can sabotage your attempts at moving on after a tragedy but it can also blind you to the positives associated with any experience. While all of us fall into the trap of negativity occasionally, it is important not to get stuck there. Taking a positive view of the world doesn’t make you naïve and doesn’t make you unprepared for calamities, as some might argue. Instead, it helps you enjoy your life.

Now it may seem counter-intuitive that happiness and the possibility of failing could have a positive relationship but they do. Let’s compare two hypothetical people so you can see this idea illustrated

Both Person A and Person B are graduate students with the same future goal of becoming full professors at research universities. Person A is a risk taker. Her motto in life is “the worst that can happen is they can say no.” As a result, she submits every paper she writes during her courses to conferences and publications. She gets a few rejections; she gets a few accepted. Person B, on the other hand, dreads the idea of rejection so she doesn’t submit her papers anywhere. For her, it is better to imagine that it might have gotten accepted than to know for sure that it wasn’t. In the end, Person A’s record of conferences and publications helps her land a good job at a prestigious university. Person B is too afraid to apply to many of the jobs so she ends up in working at a community college without much opportunity for professional growth and development.

As you can see from this scenario, the person who takes risks is going to end up obtaining goals whereas the person who is afraid of failing never can. To achieve a goal, you have to take a risk that it might not happen or that it might not be as wonderful as you thought. In either case, you don’t dwell on the failure or internalize the rejection. Instead, you set a new goal. That’s the way you build your path to happinesss.

When we let fear prevent us from taking risks that could potentially help us get closer to happiness, we are robbing ourselves. We are denying ourselves of the opportunity not just to succeed and be happy but to fail and be happy. Sometimes our greatest failures in life can lead to our greatest opportunities for happiness. Think of all the people who are happily remarried after divorcing a different spouse. Without the failed marriage, they may not have had the opportunity for a happy second marriage. Think of business professionals who have failed in entrepreneurial ventures only to find future success thanks to everything they learned from those failures.

Happiness is not only about what we do well; it is also about learning from what we mess up. Those important lessons pave the way for our future successes. But if we are too scared to take those first risks and possibly learn those lessons, we may be depriving of ourselves of what we seek the most.

When we talk about these ideas of control, we use two terms: internal locus and external locus. People who have an internal locus of control feel their actions are directly responsible for what happens in their lives. If their car breaks down in the middle of an intersection, they may say, “I should have done better routine maintenance” or “I didn’t do enough research before I bought this lemon.” On the other hand, people who have an external locus of control believe what happens to them occurs because of external factors. In the same situation, they would respond: “The guy who changed my oil probably screwed up my engine” or “The people at that car manufacturer make crappy vehicles.”

Of course, these loci of control don’t just involve who we blame when something goes wrong in our lives. It can also involve who we credit when something goes right. If you get a promotion, for example, is it become of your hard work over the years (internal locus) or because nobody else wanted the extra work (external locus)?

While it could be argued that in some cases, both the external and the internal loci arguments have validity (for instance, the car maker may build poor quality cars AND the buyer should have done more research), here’s why the internal locus people are happier: you can only control you.

People who have an external locus of control are always fighting a losing battle to control the actions of others in order for their happiness to be preserved. On the other hand, people who have an internal locus of control know they can make changes that can bring about their own happiness.

So which one are you? Spend some time listening to your own thoughts when things happen. If you find yourself pointing fingers at forces outside your control, then start changing your self-talk. If you start to blame the manufacturer for the car trouble, ask yourself what you should have done differently. In this way, you are taking back control over your life and your happiness.

As I said above, this is part of our personalities but it is not hard-wired into us. How we view the forces shaping and controlling our lives comes from our families, our friends, and our socialization. You are not pre-determined to have an external locus of control. By recognizing how your thinking could be hurting your ability to build real happiness for yourself, you can move forward and fight back against your old mode of thinking about the world. Then you are more likely to find happiness.

When I tell people that worrying is one of the worst human activities, they sometimes look at me with confusion. For some, worrying is such a part of their daily lives they can’t imagine existing without it. Others hold onto the nearly superstitious belief that worrying somehow protects them from unhappiness instead of actually causing their unhappiness. A few have even told me that they worry because they want to be prepared for the bad things when they happen.

In reality, worrying keeps us in a state of apathy. Let’s say you get a letter from the IRS on a Friday afternoon. You can’t find out whether the letter is a mistake or if there is a problem with your taxes until Monday. Now if you simply worry about what you are going to find out on Monday then you’ve ruined your whole weekend. All of your happy moments will be darkened by the dread of finding out you’re going to be audited or you’re going to have to pay back taxes or you’ll have to untangle some error that’s been made. On the other hand, you could be proactive. Read the letter carefully, pull out your old tax forms, double check the information, and try to contact your tax preparer if possible. You can also follow one of the easiest strategies to combat worry: be prepared for the worst case scenario.

When we worry, we are basically saying to ourselves that we have no control over our lives. We can only dwell on the horrors that might befall us. But that’s not true. Instead of worrying, assume the very worst possible situation has occurred. With the IRS letter, for example, assume you are going to be audited. Now prepare yourself for that. Think it through: how will you deal with it, what you need to do to prepare, what might the benefits be of going through the audit. Once you’ve thought these issues through you no longer need to worry: you are prepared for the bad news and have a plan for handling it.

Of course, the letter may not be so bad at all. Maybe an error was made on your tax returns and you owe a small amount to the IRS. That’s much simpler than an audit so you actually feel relieved instead of upset.

The bottom line is preparing mentally for the worst case scenario will allow you to take control over your life. Whenever we give up that control, we also give up our ability to really find and maintain happiness. That’s why worrying, especially excessive worrying, is the fastest route to long-term unhappiness.