During a time of rebuilding is a time to learn. Learning must be a priority while seeking success. When you have high aspirations to learn, you will be able to focus on your target. By taking this approaching you will be hitting your target much more quickly, rather than taking blind shots.

Move past failure by considering your failure as an experiment for success. When changing how you recall failure as an experiment, your fear of failure will decrease. An experiment is led by a researcher, someone who
examines the situation. Suddenly, the experiment becomes very easy to talk about. The more that we explore and experiment with things in our life, the more we will attract success into our lives. Decide to learn something new with each experiment to increase your success rate.

Remember you are rebuilding, so with each experience you are strengthening your future. Be curious about life’s experiences, and challenge yourself. Curiosity is what drives researchers to continue with experiments. This is an inquisitive mental muscle that becomes stronger with each use The more your chase after your curiosities, the more you will grow.

Celebrate every experience even if you did not reach the outcome you had hoped for. As a researcher, the world is your laboratory. Celebrate your universe, and be purposeful with each experiment. As each experiment unfolds you are building on your future and your individual character. When this type of comfort exists with your experiments, you will be celebrating victory after victory!

The principles of Quantum Physics postulate that “we attract what we experience”. So, having a little understanding of Quantum Physics in relation to the Law of Attraction can hardly go amiss. This is not about the math, but rather about applying principles which are scientifically considered to be the “building blocks” of the entire Universe.

The implication is that Quantum Mechanics can assist us in building the life we want, while we are alive on this Earth. We are fundamentally talking about the life of our dreams. Whether one dreams to be as rich as Croesus or not! What really is key, is some sort of balance. So, a life of our dreams might ideally include – health, wealth, peace, and happiness. How Quantum Physics comes to the party is supported by long-standing, as well as modern scientific discoveries in this field.

At this stage in time there are a number of physics postulates that define in which way the Universe works. While we must bear in mind that these are varied, we still have more proof available than ever before how it all pulls together. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, his dabbling in a Unified Field Theory, String Theory, Phenomenology and much more, have all added to the knowledge that the Universe has been determined to be made up of energy – fluid, vibrating and ever changing. Expanding contracting, much like the heart, lungs and very planet we live upon mimics this movement in expansion and contraction. Very simply – as above, so below – as without, so within!

The Universe has the potential to create anything at all. We see this in our daily lives when we look at the play of form in our own immediate environments. If the energy of the Universe has the potential to be able to create anything at all, then we – being part of the same Universe – have the potential to do the same. Basically we can make anything real for ourselves.

The problem is, however do we go about harnessing something as “unformed” as potential energy, and using it to make whatever we desire for our lives. The Law of Attraction is how. Universal creative energy is recognized as being non-physical, and spiritual in origin. It is the “source” energy which is all it is and can ever be. This source energy offers the potential for manifestation, which is basically bringing into being different truths of experience.

Just as everything is made of energy, our thoughts are energy too. So, what we think, we make come true. Just think about when something bad happens – if we fight against it, things generally get worse. Acceptance and surrender help the bad to go away, and positive thinking helps things to get better. We are an extension of the source energy, and the Law of Attraction harnesses this divine design for us to create whatever we think about positively. We can and do create our own realities of experience, rather than just letting life happen.

Begin this creative process by imagining the 5 most influential people in your life. Consider these people as your own personal Board of Directors. What would each of these people say about you? It is okay if you don’t know them personally. For example, if Bono is on your list, then what U2 song do you most relate to? Once you have this information gathered. Look for recurring themes, and your Anthem will rise up just like a Phoenix in the desert.

Leave it behind

You’ve got to leave it behind

All that you fashion, all that you make
All that you build, all that you break
All that you measure, all that you feel
All this you can leave behind

All that you reason, all that you care
(It’s only time and I’ll never fill up all my mind)
All that you sense, all that you scheme
All you dress up, and all that you see
All you create, all that you wreck
All that you hate

Walk on

– Excerpt from “Walk On” as performed by U2.

If this was your song, can you identify what your Anthem would be?

We live in a distracted, busy world. And people need shortcuts. Once you find your Anthem, it will make it easy for people to recognize and reward you for who you already are. Find your perfect words to describe what makes you different and extraordinary. When you find these words — when you live them — you’ll feel energized and focused and in the flow.

This is such a powerful statement. How can a person not become a product of their circumstances? There is a moment of reaction in each interaction, situation, and conversation. In this fleeting moment is your opportunity to make a decision. “How do I react to this encounter?” You have an emotional, verbal, and physical decision to make about your reaction. The key to this conundrum is that “you have a decision to make”. You have to decide how this interaction is going to affect you, and how are you going to respond. Will you crouch in fear, or rise with courage? Did you know that you can even decide if the interaction will cause an intense emotional response from you in the form of anger, fear, happiness, or joy? Yes, you have the power of the decision. The ball is in your court. It is your turn. You are on the offense, and what will be your play? Are you a product of your circumstances? Did your circumstances make you the way you are today? No, your decisions made you who you are today. Did you make the right decisions? Did you even know you had the power to decide?

This is a very empowering perspective to ponder. Take a moment to replay an encounter that you experienced today. In this encounter, how could you change the outcome? Imagine what would be the ripple effect of one simple word of encouragement with the barista who made your coffee. Or, when your boss said “hello” could have been your opportunity to make a different impression. Take possession of these moments and turn them into opportunities.

From this moment forward, BE the product of your decisions. Live purposefully, and direct your life in the direction that you want it to go. You have the ability to decide what will make you happy or sad. You have the ability to decide if you want a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle. You even have the decision of how you want other people to perceive you. Find the courage to use this gift to your advantage, and focus on this personal power.

FOCUS: Follow One Course Until Successful

As Bruce Lee said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” Become the expert, not the jack-of-all-trades. Do not brag about your multitasking skills, rather be the person that can zero in on a target like a F-15 fighter jet. Be fierce in your desire to succeed, and FOCUS.

Getting the most out of a brainstorming session, and creating an eco-system, means first finding a comfortable place which offers no distractions – the kind of place where you know you can sit and think. Arranging and developing ideas can be assisted by Mind Mapping, and making lists is useful too. The point is to develop a structure and use tools, and rules, in an unstructured environment. Paradoxical as this might sound, it actually works.

The sort of tools and rules entail prepping a team, or getting to know your subject. If the team has never worked together before a warm-up exercise is a good idea. Making sure that everything is on hand in the room, and that refreshments are provided. This is a brainstorming session not a salt-mine, where the purpose is to generate as many new ideas as possible.

The thinking should be of a freewheeling nature, and a team should be diverse. A whole lot of people with the same expertise is highly unlikely to provide a variety of thinking styles.  One person should be dedicated to recording all the ideas, and post these where the team can re-refer to them. White boards, flip charts and/or a computer with data projector are useful for this.

The problem needs to be presented clearly, and specific criteria defined. Start of the session with quiet time, as this gives people the space they need to think. Ask the team to write down their ideas during this time (Brain-writing or Crawford Slip-writing), and then ask everyone to share – introducing each person individually. This is known as the “Stepladder Technique”, which draws everyone into the session, and can lay great groundwork for group discussion.

Remember that encouraging team players to build on other people’s ideas is one of the biggest benefits of holding a brainstorming session. Include all team members (especially the quiet ones), and make sure that everyone understands that no ideas or concepts should ever be criticised. Take plenty of breaks, don’t stay on the same tangent for too long; allow team members the freedom to tune out if they want to delve into an idea alone.

Brainstorming should be fun, although it is good to have a leader guiding the discussion. A leader can make sure only one conversation takes place at a time, and help re-focus the group. They can also throw in concepts such as provocation and random input. One thing we cannot stress enough is that these sessions are specifically designed to come up with as many impractical, crazy, random ideas as possible.

There are many tools to use to generate more and better ideas, for example Reverse Brainstorming  – generally used to improve services or products. Starbursting for developing the right questions to ask when evaluating proposals; Charette Procedure – for large groups; Role-storming, and so on.  All have a purpose, and role to play in creating the perfect brainstorming eco-system.

Even before Alex Osborn, people used brainstorming as a way to generate ideas, even if they did not know what they were doing at the time. The same applies today, and many people have used this technique, even if they did not know that this was what they were doing. It is the way we think up creative solutions for problems, or simply creative applications for whatever we might have need of.

Lateral thinking is key in this process which takes a relaxed, or informal approach. Sometimes these ideas may even seem to be a little nuts at the time. But with a encouragement nutty ideas can give birth to all kinds of concepts, which may not seem to be crazy at all. It shocks people out of their ‘conventional’ way of thinking, and helps them to truly apply imagination. For brainstorming to be effective it also needs to be used correctly.

Getting the best from these imagination sessions, means not limiting creativity, or being critical regarding concepts – it is meant to be fun. We are in the process of opening up to all possibilities, and the one thing we do not want to do is stunt the generation of ideas. Criticism has the tendency to make people clam-up, and not share what they are thinking. The all ideas can be evaluated once a brainstorming session is complete. Thereafter more conventional approaches may be used to investigate further.

Conventional problem solving is often a structured, analytical process, while brainstorming should take place in an open-minded environment. Take the Google dream-team environment for example, and the massive success this company has enjoyed due to their Google-iness, and relentless innovation. This type of “openness” encourages group participation, where idiosyncratic ideas are made welcome. In their case, a valuable selection of spirited, creative solutions comes about consistently.

Team members who are able to offer their diverse expertise are generally more committed to a chosen solution, especially if they have been instrumental in the development of it. It helps to create a bond between members of a participating group

There is no doubt about the fact that group brainstorming is proven to be highly effective, but individual brainstorming can be even more effective. During group sessions ‘blocking’ often takes place. This is the effect of one, or more team member paying too much attention to what other group members are contributing. They are not exercising or sharing ideas, perhaps they may spend too much time waiting for a turn to speak, and simply give up or forget.

Studies have indicated that this process in an individual can produce better, and often more innovative ideas than a group session. When we brainstorm alone, we don’t have to worry about other people’s egos or opinions. This means freer, and more creative imagination, and often solutions to highly complex problems.

It can be easy to get stuck in a comfort zone and find that life has become an endless round of the same routine. However, once in a while it is good to find a way to break with comfortable daily patterns and deal with life in a different way. By challenging yourself to try a new skill, new mindset or new activity it is possible to get a new perspective on your life and abilities. Taking a new approach to life, work or how leisure time is used, can often bring huge benefits in attitude and energy levels. Challenging yourself and opening up to new experiences will also take you on a journey of personal growth and development which can provide great rewards.

Try Something New

Many people are discouraged from trying something new due to a fear of failure or a lack of self belief which leads them to assume they will fail. These are self limiting fears which can be turned around by making the decision to ignore doubts and negative comments. When you make the decision to take a positive step towards a new goal or achievement that is the beginning of a journey away from the limitations that you, or the people around you, have placed on your life. If you do not try, you will never know and, even if the journey does not take you exactly where you imagined, the experience will provide an opportunity for learning and growth. Once that process has begun it builds momentum which can help overcome the barriers that have been previously considered too difficult to overcome.

Take Control Of Your Life

Setting out towards a new level of personal achievement can often be the beginning of a journey towards happiness, more confidence, increased energy and more self fulfillment. Accepting that it is possible to reach a personal goal and finding the initiative to progress towards that target brings new personal growth, a wider perspective on life and a better understanding of the attitude needed for success. The pride you feel from taking control of your own life and taking on new experiences with an open mind will further build the positive energy you are creating for your journey. These changes in perception alone can contribute to a life affirming shift in your outlook. The personal development and growth in confidence from accepting a new challenge can lead to far wider benefits for your life and mindset.

The power of challenging yourself is that it may lead to discovering new skills or achieving things that were previously though to be out of reach. By setting a personal target beyond normal levels of experience or daily activity it is possible to discover a new sense of achievement. Disregard any ideas of your own limits or lack of ability and make a positive decision to achieve something which has previously seemed out of reach. The results from aiming higher can be startling and success in reaching a personal goal will lead to further confidence to go on accepting challenges. Once you start the journey towards a long held ambition or target it can be just one step in an incredibly fulfilling and motivating life experience.

Be OK with Screwing up!

It’s better to fail your way to perfection than to perfect your way to failure.

Don’t worry so much about HOW things get done. Just take some action and then look at the results. If the results are what you had hoped for, then keep doing what you’re doing. if they are not, then try something different.

You will probably find that you have just as many successes as failures. Don’t beat yourself up for things that may not have worked as expected. We often learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. With mistakes comes growth. Don’t be stopped by “Analysis Paralysis”. Decide what it is want for 2012. Decide on one action to take. Then get busy.

Remember… if you’re not falling once in a while, you’re probably not trying hard enough.

Happy Holidays and may 2012 be the most Screwed up and Successful Ever!

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her that the message hit home. ~Author Unknown

Dan Olweus, of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program shares:

I have no doubt that bullying leaves scars and has no place in school or anywhere else for that matter. But most people fail to realize the one place that bullying happens the most often… in the six inches between our ears.

There are three important components of bullying:

1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.

2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.

3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

~ Olweus.org

I suggest that many people are bullied by their own subconscious. And the worst part is that it continues long after you stopped getting wedgies in Jr. High.

Has anyone ever told to you: “Stop beating yourself up over….”

How often have you heard the little voice inside you head tell you that you’re not good enough or that you will fail? How often have you heard that voice convince you that you are not attractive enough or interesting enough? Have you ever not begun a project or taken an action because you convinced yourself that it was beyond your ability or out of you scope of expertise? Perhaps your inner bully told you that you were too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat, too silly, too stern, or just too plain old dumb.

Those thoughts repeatedly assault you with negative and unwanted ides and beliefs. They come at you even though you would rather not have them. And over time the negative beliefs of your subconscious become the norm and begin to affect and overpower the intentions of the conscious mind.

And this is where it messes you up, because the thoughts that you think cause you to have certain feelings about yourself. And it’s these feelings that determine the types of actions you will take or not take. If your thoughts tell you that you “can” do something then you will most likely give it a shot.

On the other hand, if your bully tells you you’re a complete loser and a total doofus and that your just going to fail and embarrass yourself in the process, then you are much less like to ever take the chance of moving forward.

To make matters worse, your decision to not to act just reinforces that the bully was right and that you are a loser and a doofus and that your life will never change (because it never does.)

I have a solution for you.

It is time for you to kick your own ass! And the sooner the better!

Its time for you to stand up to the bully between your ears and maturely say: “You’re not the boss of me!”

Even though the bully of the subconscious mind has been pushing you around for years, it’s never too late to push back. You do that with the conscious mind. You intentionally choose thoughts that are more empowering, thoughts that move you forward, thought that reinforce your value.

Your thoughts are like muscles. The ones you work out the most become stronger. Bullies only pick on the weak. It’s time to start exercising your free will. It’s time to start exercising your positivity muscles. It’s time to intentionally decide that you are totally awesome and that you can do anything. It’s time to tell the subconscious that you’re not going to take any crap from it anymore.

Here are some ways to strengthen your positive mind muscles:

• Write a list of your positive traits and read that list to yourself out loud every day. This is your daily “mental-cise”.
• (*If you are having trouble coming up with a list in the beginning, then “imagine” what traits you would possess if you were a positive, successful, happy person and write those down. Like most bullies, your subconscious is pretty dumb. The subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined, so go for it. You have my permission to have some “Conan the Barbarian” sized positive thoughts)
• Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing and that you can do anything you set your mind too. Don’t forget to quote Billy Crystal from SNL and tell yourself that “You look MAAAAAARVELOUSSSS!!” (*WARNING* the bully will try to tell you that this is stupid and that nothing you say is true. It will try anything to keep you weak. Don’t let it. Stick with it. Your positivity muscles will take time to develop but they will.)
• Ask someone who cares about you to tell you one thing that they like or admire about you.
• (*It helps to hear from another person. This validates that you do in fact have value even when you may not feel it yourself.)

Once you start exercising this way, your intentional mind will grow stronger, and as it strengthens, the bully will start to disappear. And when that happens your life will start to move from terrible to terrific. And just think — won’t it feel great to finally stop giving yourself those mental wedgies?

]]> https://www.denniscummins.com/the-bully-within/feed/ 1 https://www.denniscummins.com/dont-sell-yourself-short/ Wed, 21 Sep 2011 23:10:07 +0000 https://www.denniscummins.com/?p=900

Are you taking yourself for granted?

My wife works as a project manager for the education department of a Fortune 500 company. She was in the process of hiring a key note speaker for one of their events and showed me his proposal. I started to read it over and I was shocked at what I was reading.

In his proposal he listed the basic topic of his talk (No big deal there). Then he listed how it would be presented. And it was that list that was largely responsible for his being hired. Here are some excerpts from the actual proposal (I am just going to list the actual beginning of the sentences to illustrate a point):

• Participants will answer two poll questions which …
• Participants will create a list of ideas to help them …
• Participants will share with a partner what makes them …

As I was reading this, something my 15 year-old son often says came to mind: “Duh!”

Even a mediocre trainer/speaker would engage the audience with two engaging (poll) questions.
Even a mediocre trainer/speaker would involve the participants with a written activity (list creation in this case)
Even a mediocre trainer/speaker would have the participants share what they wrote to solidify what they learned.

However, reading his proposal was a major “AHA” moment for me. Having been a professional trainer for one of the largest personal and professional development companies in north America, I believed that all of the things he listed are just par for the course and would not have even thought to mention them as a benefit of my programs. I realized then that I had been selling myself short.

Even though the items he listed are the basic building blocks of any professional presentation, they are in fact skills acquired through study and practice and coaching. They are skills that, although being very valuable, they are skills that most competent Trainers/speakers take for granted (including me up to now).

Lesson for the day:

• Take a look at your product or service
• Find the benefits that you offer but that up to now you have taken for granted. Remember; your clients won’t know what benefits are if you don’t tell them
• Let them know how awesome you are and
• DON’T SELL YOURSELF SHORT!