Be Inclusive

If you always talk about “I” or “Me” doing something or achieving something – you’re leaving out the people who matter. Your team deserve to be recognized for their efforts, sharing a vision means sharing the rewards too. Great leaders acknowledge the contribution of the people who got them there. Start using “We”.

Paint an Inspirational Picture Together

Take the time out to talk to those around you about your vision. Be both specific and detailed, give people a reason to want to share in that future. Most importantly offer them an opportunity to shape that future – don’t just talk, listen. Invite feedback and input and let your team take ownership of their destiny.

Succeed in Advance

One of the simplest ways to make things easier for your team – is to act like you’ve succeeded before you’ve begun. New tasks can be daunting and the unfamiliar can be scary. If you send the message of 100% trust and belief in your team – they’ll believe in themselves too.

Be Congruent

What does that mean? It means “walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk”. People respect leaders who actually embody their message. There’s no use driving your team to be punctual if you’re going to waltz into the office an hour late with a cup of coffee in your hand. If you want people to do as you say, you’ll have to start by doing it too.

Be Clear

In true Alice in Wonderland style; “Say what you mean, and mean what you say.” That means clarity and honesty in your speech. This serves two purposes. The first is to enable your team to understand your instructions. The second is for them to have faith in those instructions.

Try not to Assume

It’s easy to get carried away with power. Leaders don’t forget that the people who work for and with them have schedules and workloads. By asking if something can be done, rather than assuming it can be – you give someone the opportunity to highlight any issues that might get in the way of delivering.

Two-way communication makes an order into a request. People like to help. They really don’t like to be told what to do.

Leadership requires communication that inspires and brings people with you willingly. Simple changes to the way you act and speak can bring enormous benefits to you. Many new leaders actively seek coaching (and mentoring) in order to develop these skills. Working through new challenges supported by someone who understands where you are in your career is a great way to rapidly develop your skills to lead.

In this video, he will show you how to ignite both your motivation and your success to live your BEST life possible!

In this podcast interview with Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Dossey discusses his book, Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine, and explains how prayer assists in the healing process.

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For more information about Dr. Dossey, visit his website: www.dosseydossey.com.

Different Kinds of Stories

There are different types of stories you can tell. Humorous stories, true stories about your own life, or stories you want to use as an example to highlight a specific point. People love stories. If you want someone to listen to what you have to say, you can hook them with these six words: “Can I tell you a story?” Most people will respond positively giving you an attentive audience.

For the purpose of an example of storytelling, let’s say your speaking topic is on attitude. The following coul be an excerpt of your talk: “One of the most important things that anyone can ever do for themselves is to be in control of their own attitude. The attitude with which you approach your speaking business, your life, your relationships, your children and family, is everything. Your business, your sports, your finances, everything is affected by your attitude. Attitude is just so important.

The Importance of Attitude

Whenever I think about the importance of attitude in life, I think about my daughter Loren. She’s like a social butterfly and has an ability to make friends instantly and permanently. When she walks into a room, people notice her. People are attracted to her wherever she is. Loren thrives on cheering people up especially if they are not feeling well. She loves to help them. She is like a little happiness vending machine. But the most striking thing about her is the color of her eyes. That’s the main thing people notice about her. Her eyes are an amazing, beautiful color blue and they seem programmed to only see the good in people. She sees the best is in every situation. Everybody comments on her incredible blue eyes- that they are the bluest eyes they have ever seen. It’s true. They are absolutely gorgeous. However, what most people don’t notice right away about Loren is that she’s blind.

A Challenging Journey

At the age of two, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor that caused her to lose her vision. Now, over the last nine years, Loren’s world has gone from blurry to black. She has suffered through three different courses of chemotherapy, has had fifteen major surgeries (most of them in the last few months) and has been poked and prodded by more doctors, interns and residents than I can remember.

Over the last nine years, she has been stabbed by more needles than anyone should experience in their lifetime and has lost the use of most of the right side of her body. In fact, she is now partially paralyzed on her entire right side. Yet, over the last nine years, my daughter Loren has never once chosen to feel sorry for herself, never once whined, complained or become bitter about how things are or how they should have been.

Attitude and Choice

Charles Swindoll wrote a poem that relates perfectly to this. It says:

“The longer I live, the more important I realize the impact of attitude in life. Attitude is more important than fact. It is more important than the past, than money, than education, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people may think or say or do. It is more important than giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is that you have a choice everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace that day. We cannot change the past or the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have, and that’s our attitude.”

He finished off with this statement: “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

I am reminded of this statement every day by the actions and attitude of my little girl. So my question is what kind of attitude are you bringing to life? What kind of attitude are you bringing to the game?

An Example from Real Life

Now that’s the power of a story. I wish I had made that story up, but it’s a true story for my family and me. This is the type of story that people respond to, that they can understand, and that will help drive your message home. It shouts the message that if there is one thing that can transform every part of your life it is understanding the importance of the attitude you bring to everything that you do in life.

Now if you decided to simply say attitude is important so make sure you show up with a great attitude, it might not have much impact. However, sharing a story about your own life, your own children, something personal and full of emotion really highlights your message. People will listen because you have proven through your story that attitude has been a critical and important part of your life. Hopefully then, they will also realize how important it is for their own lives.

That is the power of a story. It might be an emotional story; it could be a humorous story but when you want to get your message across, to make a point, for somebody to really understand the message, let them know why it is important to you. Tell them a story and when they understand why it is important to you, they will understand why it should be important to them as well.

When it comes to the delivery of your message, one of the most important points to bear in mind about getting your message out there is to forget your message. Stop worrying about your message, as it is not nearly that important. Of course, it is natural that you think your message is important. If you did not think that, you would not be giving your presentation in the first place.

Communication

However, when looking at interpersonal communication between people, communication is a broader topic than simply what you say. Visual communication- body language, your personal image and so forth- makes up 55% of your communication. Vocal communication- the pace at which you talk, the tone of voice you use, and the speed at which you talk- makes up 35% of your message. That leaves only 7% of your message being made up of verbal communication- the actual words that you speak.

If you consider all the effort you put into writing your presentation, the sum total of all the life experience you have gained, the hours of reading, study and education you have invested in your learning, mastering the practical application of those skills and choosing the best words to convey your message, all of that effort only contributes to 7% of your communication.

No one would blame you for wondering at this point why you should even bother putting a presentation together. However, the fact that words are only 7% of your message does not mean your words are not important. In fact, the message you share and the words you choose to convey your message are a powerful and influential tool on the hearts of your listeners. However, always remember that words are not the most important aspect of communicating your message.

Focus on the more important Aspects

One of the greatest contributors to stage fright is becoming overly concerned about saying exactly the right thing, in the right way, at the right time, and searching for the exact right words to perfect your message. However, that’s really not so important. How you present your message, how you stand, the body language and gestures you use while talking, making eye contact with your audience, expressing emotion in your body language, and so on- these are the more important aspects of communicating.

There are tools you can use to help you with the verbal aspect. We covered how using notes or a skeleton of main points you want to cover in your presentation is a wise idea to give you added confidence as well as flexibility to move around the stage more and connect with your audience. You can use software such as PowerPoint including pictures and written phrases that you can read straight from the screen. Perhaps you have a written script that you can read out. Alternatively, you might prefer to ad lib referring only to your main points as you talk.

Whichever method you choose, just remember it is only worth 7% of your total message. If you keep this in mind, it will help you keep it in perspective while choosing your words and remind you to focus more on what really counts: the delivery.